The last couple of days have not been a time anyone would want to spend with me. Saturday was my last massive dose of Prednisone ( In conjunction with my CHOP-R treatment, I'm taking 500 mg a day for 5 days) which means I get the mood swings along with all the other stuff going on AND coming off.
Honestly I don't understand how people choose to use drugs as an outlet, my head is so screwed up when I'm being effected that I can't imagine doing this for pleasure. I know in my head that it's just the effects of the chemicals yet it's in my head.... the hate, the resentment, the terror, the self loathing and sometimes all at once.
The good news is I only have to do this 4 more times! (Oh my 4 more times)
Luckily I'm feeling better and have gotten back to a comfortable even keel. Praise God! without him none of this would be possible for me to get through.
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Mood swings are incredibly difficult to experience - we women have been trying to tell you men that for YEARS!!!
ReplyDeleteChris, all joking aside, you are such an example of God's grace and sustenance. You WILL make it through this very difficult time.